“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” – Job 1:21 The words hung in my mind as I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours last night. I often wait and wait for sleep to come.  And just as often something will replay over and over and over again in my brain. (see my post here) Last night the hubs and I watched 19 Kids and Counting. I believe it was the newest episode. Michelle Duggar quoted the above verse several times and it stuck. Of course, it isn’t an obscure of difficult verse to understand. It has been quoted for centuries. The book of Job is famous. Job is someone we think of when we are faced with heavy and painful circumstances. Just when we think our lives couldn’t be any more burdensome, we think of Job.

I have a deep admiration and respect and, I will proclaim, love, for the Duggar family. I have watched them on TLC over the years and have vastly enjoyed watching their family grow, delighting in their neat children and witnessing their faith in Jesus lived out in their everyday lives. They are consistent, transparent and genuine. I feel like I know Michelle. Her momma’s heart speaks to my momma’s heart. I have prayed often for them over the years. So watching her weep last night over the loss of their 17 week unborn child (Jubilee Shalom) had me weeping right along with her and her family.

Something I appreciate about the Duggars is how much they value, cherish life. This wasn’t just a miscarriage to some unknown fetus. As gut wrenching as it is for expectant moms to experience miscarriages, they seem to be glossed over by society. The natural selection mentality. I enjoyed that the Duggars stopped to honor the life God gave little Jubilee. I appreciate how they acknowledged all of the joy little Jubilee brought to their family in the womb, before her death. Life is valuable to the Duggar family. Life at any stage. Life. Life given by the Lord.

So blessed be the name of the Lord! I pray that that Christ will strengthen my faith so that I acknowledge Him in the everyday moments, like the Duggars do. I do not want to be Michelle Duggar. I want to be Jennifer Bailey. But I admire Michelle’s gentle spirit and that she points to Him in all that she does. She is a wonderful example for this momma.

Job 1:20-22

Well it is springtime in Southern Arizona. Spring hits us in February actually. It was almost 90 degrees yesterday. Sigh. I dread the heat, especially after such a short and warm winter. However, the upside to all this hot foolishness is that the desert blooms. All over the place. I get especially excited when our Hedgehog Cacti bloom. The blooms are breathtaking.

 

 

 

Here is more proof that summer is just around the corner here.

Blessings!

Jenn

 

We draw closer and closer to Our Grand Adventure.  We are roughly 40 days from hitting the road. I am pumped! I have been packing and sorting and sorting and packing. I’d say I am 1/4 of the way there. The hubs has been working hard on his days off sprucing up our one acre ‘farm’. The chickens are gone. The garden looks promising. The house has been repainted. Trees are trimmed. Washes and walkways weeded and raked.

I discovered,  via Pinterest, a great blog called theprairiehomestead.com . It is a delightful blog with thoughtful posts on many things about homesteading (wherever you may be, be it apartment or farm) from wholesome recipes to how to naturally disinfect a chicken coop. Good stuff. To top it off, she is a Christ follower! I love it when I come across other believers. It just energizes me. On one of my recent visits, I decided to purchase and download an ebook that Jill Winger from The Prairie Homestead wrote called Your Custom Homestead, Awakening a Fresh Vision of Homesteading. It was $4.99 and I believe, well worth it. In it, she walks you through 21 days of practical things you can do to begin homesteading right where you are. She even dedicates some of the chapters to helping you establish a vision for your homestead by writing down goals, a mission statement and even has you recognize the reasons behind why you want to homestead. It is an easy read and the chapters are short (there are only 78 pages in the entire book).

One of the first thing Jill recommends you do is to put together a binder to keep all of your thoughts and ideas and resources in one place.

The next bit of homework  was to establish the reasons I want to homestead. I will post them someday but I’d like to wait until the hubs writes his down too.

I am sure I should have been packing and sorting instead of taking on another project. However, my brain needs food quite regularly so my life is peppered with various interests and projects. I believe this one will be quite beneficial.

Ciao!

I love Pinterest. Pinterest get my juices flowing. Pinterest allows me to connect with like minded people on a very visual level. Pinterest if chock full of talented, creative and inspiring folks. While it is true that I have 115 boards and 3300+ pins, I want to say right here, right now that I use much of what I pin! Recipes, crafts, things for school and our co-op and more. I do not just waste time on Pinterest! My life is richer because of Pinterest! (Is it me or does it sound like I am  justifying the time I waste spend on Pinterest?)

One of the first ideas I saw on Pinterest that I copied was practical and oh-so-useful for the cold prone person I am. It was a full box of new Kleenex rubber-banded to an empty box of Kleenex. The empty box catches all the used tissue and rubber-banding them together meant they, well, stayed together. You can see the original post here. I have used empty tissue boxes in the past for my icky tissues but rubber-banding them together? Now that’s clever! Since my ds was sick for a week recently, we had one of these kleenex contraptions all set up for the boy. However, when the box became full and needed emptying, it was so full and packed that it would not empty by simply turning it upside down. That meant I had to put my hand in that germ infested snot holder in order for it to be emptied. Nastiness people. There had to be a better way. Introducing the backwards brad method.

See?! No more germy, snotty nastiness. Ta da! Easy emptying. (I still wash my hands though!)

Payday was Thursday. That means grocery shopping. This payday I decided to dive in and begin making small changes to our diet. Of course, the changes that I’d like to make are costly. My family will also likely balk at the taste of the changes I want to make so I decided to go slow. It will be easier on the budget and easier (I hope) on my familie’s frame of mind.

I have been inspired by so many people to make these changes I hardly know where to give recognition! My friend Kelli is an avid whole foods, all natural, and organic advocate. She turned me on to a book called  Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictrocrats by Sally Fallon. It is an absolute wealth of information about lacto fermentation, whole grains and grinding your own, raw milk, healthy enzymes, coconut oil, fats, vitamins, minerals, toxins (did you know dish washing detergents are very poisonous?), organ meat (ewww!), juicing, and so much more. I am not kidding, the book is crammed with information, even the margins! I also follow a few blogs where many of Sally Fallon’s methods are followed like Keeper of the Home, and The Prairie Homestead.

So! The first items I purchased for this new way of life is 100% Organic Unrefined Cold-pressed Extra-virgin Coconut Oil, a pound of rapadura, a pound of sucanot (I am not exactly sure what the difference is between these two (They look a lot alike and the definitions for them are both very similar), 2lbs of organic butter, 1lb of orgainc gunpowder (green) tea, 1.5 gallons of organic milk (9.99 at Costco vs 12.99 for 1 gallon of raw at our food co-op), Real Salt (bulk), pink Himalayan salt (in it’s own grinder), 1/2 gallon of organic coconut milk, 1.5lbs of all natural fruit leather and a big bottle of melatonin. Already with these purchases I am way over my grocery budget. However, the hubs did accompany me to Costco and that is always a bad idea as he has little self control when it comes to food. God bless him!

I decided to make cornbread this evening to go with our supper. I thought using rapadura instead of sugar would work well here as is has a molassesey smell (and taste from what I understand) that would lend well to the flavor of cornbread. Below is my usual cornbread recipe with the changes noted.

Simple Cornbread

1c yellow cornmeal

1c flour

1/4c sugar (I used rapadura tonight)

4tsp baking powder

1/2tsp salt (I used Real Salt)

1 egg, beaten

1c milk (I used 1/2 a cup of coconut milk and 1/2 a cup of regular)

1/4c of cooking oil (I have not received my coconut oil yet, otherwise I would have substituted it here)

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Mix all ingredients until well blended. Pour into a greased 8×8 square baking pan. Bake for 20 minutes or until golden and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Here is what it looks like.

It came out beautifully. It is a bit of a muddier color than when I use white sugar. The taste was excellent and the kids loved it.

Funny story. My almost 12 year old daughter came into the kitchen when I was assembling the cornbread. She asked what I was making. I told her. Then she saw the jug of coconut milk and said, “Did you put coconut milk in it?!! Ewww! That’s crazy!” I just shrugged and told she didn’t have to have any. Looks like she wound up thinking differently though because she ate 2 pieces! And she asked that I make it again! *My sweet daughter did come back and apologize to me several minutes after she sassed me and gave me a big hug.

Genesis 6:21 “As for you, take for yourself some of all food which is edible, and gather it to yourself; and it shall be for food for you and for them.”

Genesis 9:3 “Every moving thing that is alive shall be food for you; I give all to you, as I gave the green plant.”

Thank you Lord Father for food.

My sweet, sweet boy is sick. It began Wednesday afternoon and has escalated since. Last night we propped him up on the couch, plugged in the humidifier, added some eucalyptus oil and bid him goodnight, making him promise to wake me us if he needed anything. A few hours later he climbed onto my lap, unable to articulate what was wrong. He was still half asleep. After some snuggling and probing he was able to tell me he had a bad dream about dad and I on a roller coaster that went crazy (he must be unwinding from our recent trip to Disneyland and Knotts still). Since he was shook up, I offered for him to sleep between mom and dad. I prayed with him and then he was out like a light. He coughed and coughed and coughed over the next hour. I got up and brought the humidifier into our room. He coughed and coughed and coughed some more. At 1:45 he asked if he could take his shirt off. I consented then went to find the thermometer. (He is just so considerate. He didn’t want me to go to any trouble and was worried about keeping me up and was he taking up too much room?!) His temp was 103.1. His fever has steadily increased since Wednesday. I administered Motrin and noted it on the white board (I can forget quite easily these days). The Motrin doesn’t even knock out his fever completely but it brings it to about 100.0 giving him some relief. I want to make him some tea with thyme and honey. Thyme acts both as an expectorant to clear the lungs of congestion and as a antitussive, calming coughing spasms. (source http://www.anniesremedy.com) I know he is going to hate it though. Tough!

On an entirely different note, I bought yet another pillow yesterday. It is perfect! Yay!

I am still wrestling with myself in terms of denial but I am not angry today and am actually tackling some school research.

It took me forever to fall asleep last night. This is my second night with a new pillow and I have not adjusted to it yet. My son is sick so he slept in my bed so I could monitor him. I listened to his breathing and occasional coughs throughout the night but wasn’t interrupted by him very much. When I did fall asleep I slept very well (other than a bizarre dream about aborted babies that survived and needed caring for and World War III breaking out at the same time). All of this to say, I had an epiphany somewhere in my odd evening of rest. Out of no where the word denial was whispered to me and between fits of sleep that word swirled through my mind. Denial, denial, denial. As I drifted in and out of sleep, thinking about denial (and I am not speaking about de Nile), I was angry. Really angry. It boils down to being angry at myself but I didn’t (don’t) want to accept that bit of truth. I want to be angry at someone else, to blame someone else. I am even in denial about being angry about being in denial. (My mind is a twisted little place.) Even as I type this I am a bit angry, albeit not as angry as I was before I began typing. I wasn’t going to share this bit of personal turmoil with anyone at first. I shot down the idea about blogging it or even putting it in my journal but I decided it is a part of my life and the goal of this blog is to be real. The good, the bad, and the ugly. So here is the ugly. I am in denial about my weight, moving and school. In my mind, I feel like the only solution is to have a full week (Dream Week) without children or other responsibilities so I can focus on detailed lesson plans, a new exercise routine with menus set up and ready to go on Spark People and time to spare to get some real packing done. Since Dream Week is not a reality, I go into automatic ticked off mode and bury my shattered dream in food and a good book (a lovely escape I might add) or time on the computer. I give myself pep talks. “Jenn, this is it! This is your only life. Every day you live in is denial is another day in your life that you lose! Poof! Gone! Is the sum of your life going to be made up of reading, eating and wasting time on the computer?” I even think about a number of scriptures that apply to how God expects us to use our time along with the consequences. (Proverbs 24:33-34; Ephesians 5:15-17; I Timothy 4:7-11; Romans 13:11-12). Yet, I feel frozen, unable to change my wicked mindset.

I am forever waiting for perfect circumstances before I take action.

And now I am so irritated and worked up I don’t want to have my quiet time. (The circumstances aren’t perfect you see . . . )

Now where did I put my book . . . . . . .